Jokes aren’t just for laughter; they also convey profound life lessons.
The County Chairman
A county chairman was dismissed from his position. Overcome with frustration, he fell ill and could only lie in bed.
The doctor suggested, “Why not read the notice of reinstatement to him? It might help.”
His wife thought to herself, “If we’re reading, let’s read the notice of promotion to provincial chairman to make him really happy.”
To her surprise, after hearing this, her husband burst into laughter and jumped up, healthy as ever.
The doctor sighed, “Why didn’t he listen to my advice? Increasing the dosage like that might not be a good idea.”
Indeed, once he learned the truth, the husband went mad.
Lesson learned: Don’t fear failure; face it courageously. Don’t let it hinder your progress. Life is a journey filled with diverse experiences, including failures.
Selling Pigs
A man went to the market and bought a pig. On his way home, it was sunny, and he was about to stop at a roadside stall for a drink when he encountered a soldier.
The soldier asked:
– Hey, how much is the pig?
The man noticed the officer was paying attention to him and the pig, so he politely replied:
– Well, it’s more than a hundred.
The soldier slapped him and shouted:
– You’re crazy! How dare you say the pig is worth more than a hundred?
– I’m sorry, I misspoke!
The man pleaded for mercy until the soldier finally let him go. A short distance later, he met a customer who asked the price of the pig. Still feeling aggrieved, he said:
– I just got slapped for telling the price, so I won’t say anything.
Thinking he was being rude, the customer hit him and said:
– Are you mocking me?
The man ran away, realizing that dealing with such customers was only going to bring him trouble. Near the village, he saw two monks and a novice coming from the temple. The novice asked the price of the pig, and the man grumbled:
– This is the third time, so I won’t say anything.
The novice blushed, punched him, thinking he was mocking the monks. But he retorted, “Isn’t it the third time?” and walked straight into the village.
Lesson: Think before you speak. Your words can unintentionally lead others to misunderstand and form a negative opinion about you. Every statement needs careful consideration to avoid bringing trouble upon yourself.
What Does the Child Choose?
One day, I teased my 4-year-old daughter: “We’re going to raise a pig at home. We need to divide the tasks: one person will feed it daily, another will clean its room, and another will bathe it. What do you want to do?” She replied immediately, “I want to be the pig.”
Lesson learned: The choices you present to others are what you want them to do, but that may not be what they desire.
So sometimes, even if you try your best thinking what you’re doing is good for the other person, they may reject your kindness.
The Bar
A man entered a bar and struck up a conversation with a girl: “Can I buy you a beer?”
The girl immediately screamed, “No, I’m not a call girl, I don’t want to sleep with you!”
People immediately glared at the man with disdain.
Embarrassed, the man stood speechless for a moment until the girl gently said, “I’m sorry, I’m a psychology student. I just wanted to see your reaction to being embarrassed.”
The man then yelled, “500,000 for an hour? With a face like this, how dare you ask for such a high price? Are you kidding me?”
Lesson: When someone close to us treats us harshly, we feel sad, especially since we can only pretend nothing happened.
But if a stranger provokes you, don’t hesitate to retaliate. Just make sure to seize the moment and choose the right method; don’t be too hasty and ruin things.
Bank Robbery
A group of robbers stormed a bank and shouted, “Everyone stay still; the money belongs to the state, but your lives are yours!” Everyone lay down in fear.
One robber saw a female employee lying on the table with her arms and legs raised to the sky. He said, “Please lie down a bit more civilly; this is a robbery, not something else.”
After the heist was done and they returned home, one robber, a graduate student, said, “Boss, let’s count how much money we have.”
The leader, who only graduated from elementary school, replied, “Are you stupid? With this much, we’ll never finish counting. Just watch the news; we’ll find out how much we got.”
There’s more to the story: After the robbers left, the bank manager said, “Quick, call the police.”
The department head was about to leave when the manager hurriedly called him back and said, “Wait! Remember to add that 5 million we took previously.” The department head replied, “If the robbers come every month, that would be great.”
The next day, the news reported that the bank was robbed of 100 million, but the robbers counted and found only 20 million.
The leader angrily cursed, “Damn it! I risked my life to rob only 20 million, and that bank manager, without doing anything, made 80 million. It seems like in this day and age, you can’t get by without education.”
Lesson: Education is crucial in this era, so make sure to study hard and accumulate experience whenever you can.
Couple Shopping for Plates
A couple was strolling through shops. The wife saw a set of high-end dinnerware and expressed her desire to buy it.
The husband criticized the set as too expensive and refused to spend the money. The salesperson whispered something to the husband. After hearing it, he no longer hesitated and immediately bought it.
Why did the husband change his mind so quickly?
The salesperson said, “This dinnerware is so precious; your wife won’t let you wash the dishes.”
Lesson: People’s perceptions are hard to change; it’s important to seize opportunities and understand the psychology of others.
Marital Matters
The husband came home from work with a fish. He told his wife to cook it while he went out to watch a movie.
The wife wanted to join him, but he said, “It’s a waste for both of us to go; you stay home and cook the fish. Once I’m back, we can eat the fish together, and I’ll tell you the movie’s plot.”
After finishing the movie and returning home, he found no fish cooked. He asked his wife, “Where’s the fish?”
The wife replied, “I ate it all, sweetheart. Come sit here; tell me about the movie, and then I’ll tell you how the fish tasted.”
Lesson: How you treat others is how they will treat you. If you want to be treated a certain way, treat others in the same manner.
Someone Else’s Wife
A young man was about to jump off a building to commit suicide because his girlfriend of eight years was getting married.
The police arrived and calmly said, “You’ve been with someone else’s wife for eight years; what have you lost that makes you want to jump?”
After hearing this, the young man thought for a moment, carefully stepped back from the balcony, and closed the door.
Lesson: Whether happy or sad, time flows silently. What has happened cannot be regretted. Look at things from a different perspective; you will see that everything is not so terrible.
The Soup Pot
The husband came home after work and saw his wife beating their son. He ignored it and went straight to the kitchen, noticing a pot of steaming chicken soup, so he took a bowl to eat.
Feeling full after eating, he noticed his wife was still hitting their son and spoke up: “If the child did something wrong, you should teach him gently with reason; beating him like that won’t educate him better.”
The wife replied, “I worked hard all day to make this delicious chicken soup, and he just peed in it! Can you blame me for being angry?”
Hearing this, the husband was furious and grabbed a stick: “You relax; I’ll handle him.”
Important lesson: When you are an outsider, you can remain calm. But if you are involved, you can’t think clearly about the situation.
So, do not casually judge anyone without understanding their circumstances, for you are not in their shoes.
