Humorous stories not only provide entertainment but also convey profound lessons about being human.
The County Chairman
A county chairman was dismissed from his position. Overwhelmed with resentment, he fell ill and could only lie in bed.
The doctor advised, “Try reading the announcement of his reinstatement. Who knows, it might help.”
The wife thought to herself, “If we’re going to read something, let’s read the announcement of his promotion to provincial chairman to make him happy.”
To her surprise, when her husband heard this, he burst out laughing and jumped up, healthy as ever.
The doctor sighed, “Why didn’t you listen to my advice? Increasing the dosage like this might not be a good idea.”
Indeed, after learning the truth, the husband went mad.
Lesson learned: Don’t fear failure; face it courageously and don’t let it hinder your progress. Life is a journey filled with diverse experiences, and failures are part of that journey.
Selling Pigs
One person went to the market and bought a pig. On the way home, it was sunny, and he was about to stop at a roadside stall for a drink when he encountered a soldier.
The soldier asked:
– Hey there, how much is the pig?
Seeing the soldier paying attention to him and the pig, he politely replied:
– It’s worth more than a quarter.
The soldier slapped him and scolded:
– How dare you! You think the pig is worth more than a quarter?
– I’m sorry, I misspoke!
After much pleading, the soldier let him go. After a short while, he met another man who asked about the price of the pig. Still feeling aggrieved, he said:
– I just got slapped for saying that; I won’t tell you.
Thinking he was being rude, the man hit him and said:
– Are you mocking me?
The man ran away, thinking that dealing with such people only brings trouble. Near the entrance of the village, he met two monks and a novice coming out of a temple. The novice asked about the pig’s price, and he grumbled:
– That’s three times already; I won’t say anything more.
The novice turned red and punched him, thinking he was mocking the monks. But he argued, “Isn’t it three times?” and walked straight into the village.
Lesson: Think carefully before you speak. Unintentional comments can lead to misunderstandings and negative judgments about you. Every word should be considered to avoid bringing trouble upon yourself.
What Does the Child Choose?
One day, I teased my 4-year-old daughter: “We’re going to have a pig soon, and we need to divide the tasks. One person will feed it every day, another will clean its room, and one will bathe it. What do you want to do?” She immediately replied: “I’ll be the pig.”
Lesson learned: The choices you offer to others are what you want them to do, but that doesn’t necessarily align with what they want.
Sometimes, even if you think you’re doing what’s best for someone, they might reject your good intentions.
The Bar
A man walked into a bar and struck up a conversation with a girl: “Can I buy you a beer?”
The girl immediately yelled, “No, I’m not a prostitute! I don’t want to sleep with you!”
People around immediately cast scornful looks at the man.
The man felt embarrassed for a moment, and then the girl softly said: “I’m sorry, I’m a psychology student. I just wanted to see your reaction to being embarrassed.”
Upon hearing this, the man shouted: “500,000 for an hour? With a face like this, you dare to ask for such a high price? Are you joking with me!”
Lesson: When someone close to us is harsh, it hurts more than when we can only pretend nothing has happened.
However, when a stranger provokes you, don’t hesitate to retaliate. But you need to seize the opportunity and choose the right method; don’t let impatience ruin things.
Bank Robbery
A group of robbers burst into a bank and shouted, “Don’t move! The money belongs to the state, but your lives belong to you!” Everyone lay down without daring to say a word.
One of the robbers saw a female employee lying on the table with her arms and legs raised to the sky. He said, “Please lie down properly; this is a robbery, not an XXX heist.”
After the robbery, one of the thieves, who had a master’s degree, said, “Boss, let’s quickly count the money and see how much we got.”
The leader (who only graduated from elementary school) replied, “You’re so stupid. With this much money, we’ll never finish counting. Just watch the news, and we’ll know how much we got.”
The story doesn’t end there: After the robbers left, the bank manager said, “Quick, call the police.”
The head of the department was about to leave when the manager hurriedly called him back and said, “Wait! Remember to add the 5 million that we had taken before.” The department head replied, “If the robbers come every month, that would be great.”
As a result, the next day, the news reported that the bank had been robbed of 1 billion, but the robbers counted and found only 20 million.
The leader angrily cursed, “Damn it, I risked my life to steal only 20 million while the bank manager made 80 million without doing anything. It seems that in this day and age, education is crucial.”
Lesson: In this era, education is very important, so make sure to study hard and accumulate experience whenever you can.
Couple Buying Dishes
A couple was strolling through shops. The wife spotted a high-end dinnerware set and expressed her desire to buy it.
The husband criticized the item as being too expensive and didn’t want to spend the money. The salesperson whispered something to the husband. After hearing it, he no longer hesitated and immediately bought it.
Why did the husband change his mind so quickly?
The salesperson said, “This dinnerware is so precious that your wife won’t let you wash the dishes.”
Lesson: People’s beliefs are hard to change; it’s important to seize opportunities and understand the psychology of others.
Marital Issues
The husband came home from work with a fish. He told his wife to cook it while he went out to watch a movie.
The wife wanted to go along, but he said, “It would be a waste for both of us to go; you stay home and cook the fish. When I come back, we’ll eat it together, and I’ll tell you about the movie.”
After watching the movie, he returned home and found no fish cooked. He asked his wife, “Where’s the fish?”
She replied, “I ate it all, dear. Sit down here, and I’ll tell you about the movie, and then you can tell me how the fish tasted.”
Lesson: In life, how you treat others is how they will treat you. Therefore, if you want to be treated a certain way, treat others accordingly.
Someone else’s Wife
A young man was about to jump off a building in despair because his girlfriend of eight years was about to marry someone else.
The police arrived and calmly said, “You’ve been with someone else’s wife for eight years; what do you have to lose by jumping?”
Upon hearing this, the young man thought for a moment, carefully stepped back from the balcony, returned to the room, and closed the door.
Lesson: Whether happy or sad, time continues to flow silently. What’s happened is done, and regretting it is useless. Look at the situation from a different perspective, and you may find that things are not as bad as they seem.
The Soup Pot
The husband came home one evening after work to find his wife beating their son. He ignored it and went straight to the kitchen, where he saw a pot of steaming chicken soup and took a bowl to eat.
After satisfying his hunger, he noticed his wife was still punishing their son, and he spoke up: “If the child did something wrong, you should teach him gently with reason; hitting him won’t educate him better.”
The wife replied, “I worked hard all day to make this delicious chicken soup, and that little brat peed all over it! Don’t you see how infuriating that is?”
The husband, hearing this, was furious and picked up the stick: “You take a break; I’ll handle him!”
Important lesson: When you’re an outsider, you can remain calm. But when you’re involved, you won’t be able to think clearly about the situation.
Thus, don’t casually judge anyone without fully understanding their circumstances because you’re not in their shoes.
