The Tujia brides in China not only cry for at least one hour a day for an entire month, but they also curse the matchmaker in hopes of a happy married life in the future.
Typically, weddings are associated with joy, laughter, and happiness as the bride and groom step into their new life together. However, for the Tujia ethnic brides in Sichuan province, China, they must cry for at least one hour each day in the month leading up to their wedding.
The crying wedding custom has existed for a long time in many regions of southwestern Sichuan and was common until the end of the Qing Dynasty (1644 – 1911). Although it is no longer as widespread as before, this ritual is still regarded by many, especially the Tujia people, as an essential part of the wedding process.
According to CGTN, the Tujia are the eighth-largest ethnic group among the 56 ethnicities in China, with a population of over 8 million, most of whom live in central and southwestern China.
Older generations recall that every bride must cry at the wedding. If she fails to do so, she will be looked down upon by her neighbors and become a laughingstock for the entire village. In fact, there have been instances where brides were scolded by their mothers for not crying during the wedding. Notably, through this crying, the Tujia people assess the bride’s character and intelligence.
According to China Daily, in western Sichuan, the crying custom is referred to as “Zuo Tang (Sitting in the Hall)”. Typically, the bride begins to cry one month before the wedding day. As night falls, she enters the hall and sits to cry for about an hour. Ten days later, her mother joins her in crying. Another ten days later, the bride’s grandmother also “joins in.” If the bride has sisters or aunts, they are also expected to cry alongside her.
It is believed that the bride’s crying brings joy and happiness to the marriage. The bride’s cries are expressed through sorrowful lamentations. However, in ancient weddings, many brides cried because they were forced into marriage, lamenting their impending unhappy unions.
Tujia women in traditional attire. (Photo: CGTN).
Among the elements of this crying custom, the cursing of the matchmaker is particularly significant and poignant. In the old society, women had no say in their marriages, with everything being arranged by matchmakers and their parents. Consequently, brides often cursed the matchmaker before stepping into the bridal car. This tradition is also depicted in Sichuan operas and other forms of folk art in China.
In rural areas, where matchmakers still play an important role in marriages, brides continue to curse them while performing the crying ritual. However, the matchmakers are never afraid of being scolded. For them, not being cursed means they will never escape from bad luck.
Many young girls, as young as 15 or 16, have been trained to cry in preparation for their future weddings. They practice with friends to ensure they do not make mistakes on the official crying day before the wedding.
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