In the dormitory room of male law students, twelve students were practicing a mock trial, where they created a “court” to prosecute a driver who had caused the death of 24 piglets belonging to a farmer.
A “lawyer” was assigned to defend the farmer. Looking around, the young “lawyer” tried to evoke sympathy from the “members” of the court:
– Imagine, ladies and gentlemen, it’s no small matter, 24 piglets! Twenty-four! That’s double the number of you sitting here!
*
***
Too Old
A man told his friend:
– Finally, I see you’ve sold that old, rusty car of yours.
– Yes – the friend replied – I got tired of having to explain things to the police, so I sold it off.
The other man wondered:
– What do you mean by explaining things to the police?
– Every time I parked the car, the police would come over to ask if I had reported the accident yet…
The Reality Is
A young lieutenant fresh out of military school was using alcohol to clean the scope of a specialized sniper rifle. Suddenly, the commanding captain walked in:
– What are you doing? Did they teach you how to clean at school?
– Use high concentration alcohol on a thin cloth and wipe slowly.
– Nonsense! Watch me do it!
The captain then poured the entire bottle of alcohol into a metal cup, tilted his head back, and drank it all… A moment later, he breathed onto the scope and lectured:
– Done, wipe it off; that’s how it is in the battlefield!
Words and Losses
On their way home, two female vendors encountered several men sitting around drinking and making a ruckus. Sister A commented:
– It’s true that when alcohol enters, words come out.
Sister B countered:
– No, it’s only the owner of the bar who profits; the rest of us just incur losses.
Suddenly, a companion from behind chimed in:
– First, it’s a loss of capital, then a loss of stomach ulcers, and a loss from a car accident…
Sisters A and B interrupted:
– And then what?
Sister C:
– Down the drain!
More Talented
Two boys were talking about a girl:
– My sister’s beauty. Anyone who sees her is mesmerized.
– Really? You brag so much. Just one word from her can make someone a millionaire!
– What does she do that’s so impressive?
– She reads lottery results.
– !!!
For Both
– In Newspaper X, you criticized those people harshly. Why, in Newspaper Y, do you praise them so highly?
– Ah! You don’t understand that I write articles to serve both: the subjects of the articles and the readers of the articles.
– !!!
Aspirations
Summarizing the “Smoke-Free Week” campaign in a particular ward, several individuals were recognized and awarded. On this occasion, a reporter from a newspaper interviewed a young winner:
– Can you tell us what you will do with this prize money?
– Well… I’ll try to earn a few more rickshaw rides, then save up to buy my child a medicine cabinet to sell at the end of the alley.
-?!!!
