There are many types of materials available in the market that claim to help couples conceive a son or daughter according to their wishes, and many people have been using them. However, experts suggest that following special diets or changing vaginal environments as described in books rarely yields effective results.
Although she has not yet conceived, Ms. Hoa and her husband decided to employ special methods to ensure they have a son first, and then they would feel free for subsequent children.
 |
| Nature has calculated to balance the gender of boys and girls |
She purchased a book titled “Conceiving According to Desire” by Linh Son, published by Thanh Niên Publishing House in 2000, and diligently followed the guidelines outlined in the book. Although this type of material has been banned since September 2003, it is still available in many private bookstores and at street stalls selling second-hand books.
In several bookstores on Nguyen Xi Street (Hanoi), simply asking for books on conceiving according to desire will prompt the seller to bring them out right away. The owner of one bookstore here mentioned that although these books are not bestsellers and do not create a buzz, they do have regular customers. The most sought-after titles are “Conceiving According to Desire” and “The Art of Conceiving Sons and Daughters.” Most of these publications were released before the ban and are still available today.
Various newspapers and magazines also sporadically publish articles on techniques for choosing the gender of a fetus. The Hanoi Cable Television magazine’s volume 6-2 this year dedicated an entire page to this issue, affirming that “research results have not provided solid evidence, but conceiving according to desire is entirely possible.”
The article also featured two meal plans for those wanting to have a prince or princess. Even the Weekend Health and Life newspaper occasionally includes articles discussing methods to increase the likelihood of conceiving a child of a desired gender, such as sexual positions, timing of intercourse, and dietary habits…
On various websites, this type of information is becoming increasingly common. The Reproductive Health section of http://www.cimsi.org.vn/ (a website of the Central Institute of Medical Information – Ministry of Health) has a dedicated section titled “Conceiving According to Desire,” detailing both the theoretical foundations and practical solutions. Articles on this topic are also available on many other websites such as http://www.webtretho.com/ and http://www.treem.net/…
Enduring Hardships to Choose the Gender of a Child
“First, I have to change my diet for a few months. It’s not necessary to eat too much salt, but I must supplement with plenty of sodium and potassium through meat, bananas, and potatoes… I should eat less calcium-rich foods like milk because that’s the diet for conceiving a daughter,” Ms. Hoa explained. According to the materials, this diet is said to create an alkaline environment in the vagina, which is very favorable for the activity of Y sperm (whereas an acidic environment benefits X sperm). Many items in the “standard menu” are not to her taste, such as coffee and various beans, but she persists, even giving up her favorite milk—all for the sake of her child.
Ms. Hoa noted that eating well was just the starting point. The next step is to determine the right day for conception. According to her book and other materials she has read, Y sperm are faster swimmers but have a shorter lifespan than X sperm. Therefore, if she wants to conceive a boy, they must engage in intercourse right when ovulation occurs; for a girl, they should do so a few days prior, allowing only the X sperm to survive. The challenge is accurately timing ovulation.
“Timing ovulation is quite challenging,” commented Ms. Giang, a mother hoping for a son. Every month, on the 12th day of her menstrual cycle, she visits a private clinic to check her eggs: “They use a probe with a camera via the vagina to check the size of the follicles and predict whether they are about to ovulate. Theoretically, ovulation occurs in the middle of the cycle, but it can actually happen on surrounding days. So, it requires constant monitoring for a week to be sure.”
Ms. Giang has been timing her ovulation like this for the past 4-5 months, but she has yet to “complete her project” due to continuous issues: sometimes her husband is away on sensitive days, sometimes she is too busy to monitor continuously, causing her to miss ovulation, or she may have intercourse too early, which prevents both X and Y sperm from waiting for ovulation.
Typically, future mothers use various combined methods to track ovulation: monitoring, measuring temperature (women’s body temperature increases during ovulation), and using ovulation test strips (similar to pregnancy tests, detecting ovulation through hormone levels in urine).
Additionally, to enhance the chances of success, Ms. Hoa also visits a private clinic in Hoan Kiem district, known for its consulting services for gender selection, where a female doctor who used to head a major obstetrics and gynecology hospital in Hanoi is present.
Not only does the doctor advise on diet and timing of intercourse, but she also instructs clients to come in on the decision day to “modify” the vaginal environment. The doctor will use a solution that is either alkaline or acidic (depending on whether they want a boy or girl) to clean the vaginal and vulvar areas, helping the selected sperm to “perform” better.
Minimal Effectiveness
13 fathers who prefer sons have only 1 who prefers daughters A survey conducted among nearly 2,900 men revealed that 46% expressed a desire to have at least one son, while only 3.5% preferred daughters. Nearly one-third of participants stated they valued children of either gender, while the remaining 18% wished for a balance of both sons and daughters. Among the nearly 1,600 women surveyed, those who preferred sons also outnumbered those who preferred daughters (19% compared to 6%). However, the desire for a “stick to lean on” among women is not as strong as it is among men. Nearly half of them do not consider the gender of their child important, and over a quarter prefer both sons and daughters. The survey indicates that only one-third of men and half of women are satisfied with the gender of their child in all cases (whether a son or daughter). The remaining participants tend to lean towards a specific gender (only wanting sons or daughters, or if they already have one child, they prefer the second to be of the opposite gender to achieve a balance). This suggests they might seek ways to choose their child’s gender if given the opportunity. |
Despite their efforts, not everyone achieves their desired outcome. The couple, Ms. Thanh and her husband from Hai Ba Trung district, planned for their first child but ended up having two consecutive daughters. Ms. Thu, living in Thanh Xuan (Hanoi), gave birth three times hoping for a daughter, but all resulted in boys. Dr. Nguyen Viet Tien, Director of the Central Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital, stated that there are currently no statistics on the actual effectiveness of the aforementioned methods for gender selection, but in his opinion, they are not very effective.
“Eating certain foods cannot significantly change the alkaline or acidic characteristics of bodily fluids, including those in the reproductive area,” Dr. Tien asserted. He explained that to maintain physiological balance, each individual’s body has mechanisms to regulate pH levels. For instance, if one consumes excess of a particular substance, organs will filter out the excess to excrete it; if not eliminated, it can lead to an overload of that substance and harm the body.
For example, a woman wanting to conceive a son may try to consume more salt, but the kidneys will filter out the excess salt to maintain a physiological balance among substances. By forcing oneself to consume too much of certain nutrients, the woman not only subjects herself to unnecessary hardship but also risks causing an imbalance.
Regarding the method of using alkaline or acidic solutions to directly alter the vaginal environment, Dr. Nguyen Viet Tien considers it entirely nonsensical, claiming it not only has no effect but could also be harmful. Each individual’s vaginal environment has a specific pH level that is already balanced.
Intervening in such a manner could cause disturbances, and if hygiene is not maintained, it could lead to infections, resulting in blocked fallopian tubes and infertility. Obstetricians and gynecologists consistently advise women against inserting cleansing solutions deeply into the vagina.
Dr. Tien acknowledged that correctly timing intercourse could potentially increase the odds of conceiving according to desire, but the effect is not significant, as the gender of a child is determined by many factors. Moreover, many men only produce either X or Y sperm, meaning that regardless of the timing of intercourse, the outcome will be biased toward one gender.
Many individuals have applied the methods prescribed in books and successfully conceived children of their desired gender. However, according to experts, it cannot be confirmed that this resulted from a diet high in sodium or calcium or from the “timing of intercourse.” Even without any interventions, each conception has a 50% chance of resulting in a boy and a 50% chance of resulting in a girl; this is a natural law aimed at maintaining gender balance.
