There are many factors influencing the “journey to find happiness” for modern humans.
Happiness is a feeling of excitement, satisfaction, or contentment with life. Each person will define happiness in their own way, but it is often described as an emotion associated with positivity.
Happiness can stem from many factors, for example, a person’s inherent cheerful and optimistic personality, or being raised in a nurturing environment. These are factors beyond our control; however, there is one thing that everyone can build and maintain: relationships. Relationships are a key factor in achieving lasting happiness. Even individuals with “negative genes”, who often overthink or are born into toxic environments, can still find happiness if they focus on healthy social connections.
Our instinct for social connection is embedded in our genes
Numerous studies have examined the impact of relationships on feelings of happiness. One of the most influential and long-lasting studies is the Harvard study of 724 individuals that began in 1938. Over more than 74 years, scientists assessed the psychology and health of the participants. The results showed that those with healthy social connections were happier.
Humans are social creatures. In prehistoric times, our ancestors formed tribes to live, hunt, protect, and care for one another. When isolated from their tribe, an individual could face death. From a sociological perspective, social connection is also a powerful survival skill.
“Connection genes” are still present in modern humans, driving us to engage in social behaviors. Unfortunately, in today’s fast-paced environment, relationships are gradually losing their importance.
Happiness can stem from many factors.
People today are connecting less
The advent of the Internet and social media is leading people to seek more virtual values. Author Caroline Beaton wrote in Psychology Today that many people are attempting to replace real relationships with virtual ones. We can connect online with hundreds of people we’ve never met, but these connections are often superficial, ultimately leading to dissatisfaction and a loss of trust in social relationships. We often forget that virtual connections are different from real ones.
Secondly, the presence of technology also diminishes the quality of conversations. How many times have you gone for coffee with friends only to find everyone staring at their smartphones?
Additionally, there is another reason that many overlook, which is the “dependency shift.” The Internet provides us with vast resources; if we need to look something up, we immediately turn to “Google.” Gradually, we develop a stronger sense of independence and feel less inclined to seek help from others as we did before.
Steven Van Cohen, an author, shares that in the past, when he faced a problem, he could rely on experts for help. For instance, if he couldn’t fix a leaky faucet, he would ask his father or a plumber. Now, he is more self-sufficient, able to search on YouTube and “doesn’t need to depend on anyone else.” Modern technology has partly reduced interaction, making us more self-reliant, yet also lonelier.
This does not mean you shouldn’t be independent or should always seek help when needed. It simply means that sometimes it’s okay to ask others for help, as this is one way to build relationships.
Our grandparents had very different joys than we do now, partly because they didn’t grow up in the Internet age.
Of course, technological advancement is not the only cause of loneliness, as feelings of emptiness and isolation can also arise from the rise of individualism, globalization, job competition, and peer pressure.
However, whatever the reason, in an increasingly harsh world, the younger generation will be the most vulnerable group, as they often lack experience and strong relationships. Young people should slow down, practice stepping outside, improve existing relationships, and seek out (healthy) new connections. To find happiness, start with the people around you.
