The Island Where the Older Girls Teach the Boys How to "Love" and "Reach the Peak"

Throughout the world, there are many tribes and groups of people with unusual customs and rituals, particularly regarding marriage and sexuality. Some tribes astonish outsiders with their very open and unique perspectives.

The inhabitants of Mangaia, an island in the South Pacific, have a very liberal attitude towards sex. From a relatively young age, they are taught how to engage in sexual relations effectively and to please their partners, as noted by American anthropologist Donald Stanley Marshall in his book “Human Sexual Behavior: The Differences Among Peoples.”

Both men and women in Mangaia are encouraged to have as many sexual experiences as possible before getting married. While this open attitude allows many islanders to lead fulfilling sexual lives, it also raises some social issues, such as unwanted pregnancies and sexual violence.

Mangaia Island, part of the Cook Islands.

Young Boys Taught by Older Women

Mangaia is part of the Cook Islands nation. The island has a land area of about 51.8 square kilometers and a population of approximately 700 people.

Mangaia is considered the oldest island in the Pacific, with geologists estimating its age to be at least 18 million years, according to the Cook Islands website.

According to Marshall, children here can wear clothes or not, as long as they cover their “private parts.” Clothing is only mandatory in church or at significant events.

Children play together until they are about 3 or 4 years old. After that, they are separated and not allowed to be in public together. This rule also applies to adult men and women. Even siblings or married couples cannot walk together in the street. Although they have close relationships at home, men and women in Mangaia do not talk to each other in public.

Mangaia Island has very unusual sexual customs.

At the age of 13, boys are believed to begin their transition into manhood and are isolated for about two weeks. During this time, an older man begins to educate the boy about sexuality. He is taught how to engage in sexual intercourse, positions, and techniques to make his partner reach orgasm multiple times. Once this stage ends, the boy will practice these skills with an older girl.

For the Mangaia people, “reaching orgasm” is the primary goal of sexual intercourse. Both men and women are encouraged to achieve orgasm 2-3 times per night.

For men, the ability to prolong sexual activity and satisfy their partner is very important. Those who can “reach orgasm” multiple times in one night and have sex daily are highly respected in society. The Mangaia culture believes that men have a higher sexual desire than women, resulting in men often bragging about their sexual exploits to the point of exhausting or causing weight loss in their partners.

As Mangaia girls reach puberty, they are also taught how to “reach orgasm” during intercourse. They learn this from boys or older women. If a girl has sex with a boy without “reaching orgasm,” the boy is viewed negatively.

For the Mangaia people, “reaching orgasm” is the primary goal of sexual intercourse. (Illustrative image).

Young women are advised to have 3-4 partners before marriage to gain experience. Men, perceived to have higher sexual desires, tend to have more partners on average. Young people on Mangaia often discuss “sex” with their families and even observe older couples during sexual activity.

Marshall, who conducted research on the Mangaia people in the late 20th century, found that the average 18-year-old man in Mangaia has sex 7 nights a week and reaches orgasm an average of 3 times a night.

Men continue to be sexually active as they age. A 28-year-old typically has sex 5-6 times a week and reaches orgasm twice a night. A 38-year-old usually has sex 3-4 times a week and reaches orgasm once a night. A 48-year-old has sex 2-3 times a week and reaches orgasm once a night, according to the researcher.

Social Issues

While observing life on the island, researcher Marshall discovered many consequences of “casual” sexual relations.

In Mangaia, about half of couples only marry after the girl has become pregnant or after the first child is born, according to Marshall. Additionally, many illegitimate children are born each year as women continue to engage with others while being married.

Photo taken in the village of Oneroa on Mangaia Island.

Previously, the Mangaia people often did not see this as an issue because they did not stigmatize illegitimate children. However, as Western culture increasingly influences them, some people have begun to stigmatize fatherless children.

Sexual violence is also a pressing issue in Mangaia. According to Marshall’s research, men often physically assault women if they refuse to have sex with them. This also occurs within marriages.

Many young men sneak into girls’ homes to seduce or use force to coerce them into sexual activity. If a girl screams and wakes her parents, only then will the boy stop.