“It may sound strange, but I am happier than ever in my life,” Simon Boas shared when facing death.
Simon Boas, who wrote a candid account of living with cancer, passed away on July 15 at the age of 47. However, his experiences at the brink of death have prompted deep reflections among many.
In an interview with the BBC, the former aid worker told the reporter, “My pain has been managed, and I am incredibly happy. It sounds strange to say this, but I am happier than ever in my life.” At the very least, Boas felt happiness when confronting death.
The Fear of Death in the Subconscious
Numerous studies indicate that the fear of death is a subconscious central aspect of human nature. A study published in the journal Psychological Science found that people close to death use more positive language to describe their experiences compared to those who merely imagine death. This suggests that the experience of dying may be more pleasant, or at least not as distressing as we might envision.
Numerous studies indicate that the fear of death is a subconscious central aspect of human nature – (Image: Getty).
In the BBC interview, Boas shared some thoughts that helped him accept his condition. He emphasized the importance of enjoying life and prioritizing meaningful experiences, implying that acknowledging death can enhance our appreciation of life.
Despite enduring pain and hardship, Boas seemed to maintain an optimistic outlook, hoping that his attitude would support his wife and parents during the difficult times ahead.
Boas’s words resonate with the advice of Roman philosopher Seneca: “Living long enough does not depend on the number of years or days, but on our mindset“.
A recent thinker who expressed similar views is psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. After surviving the Auschwitz concentration camp, he wrote the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” (1946), where he laid the groundwork for a form of existential psychotherapy centered on discovering meaning in any circumstance.
The latest iteration of this therapy focuses on meaning, providing those with cancer a way to enhance their sense of purpose in life.
Finding Happiness in the Smallest Things
In two studies published in the journal Palliative and Supportive Care and the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, individuals nearing death were asked what constitutes happiness for them.
A common theme in both studies was social connections, enjoying simple pleasures like being in nature, maintaining a positive mindset, and a shift from seeking pleasure to pursuing meaning and fulfillment as illness progresses.
Johan is an example. For the first time, he visited the clinic alone with a slight limp and talked to the psychologist about life, hobbies, relationships, and meaning. Johan appeared alert, clear-headed, and articulate.
On his second visit, he arrived with crutches. One leg was beginning to weaken, and he no longer trusted his balance. Johan expressed concern about losing control of his leg but remained hopeful about cycling around Mont Blanc.
When asked what worried him, Johan broke down in tears. He said, “I worry that I won’t make it to my birthday next month.” What weighed heaviest on him was not the moment of facing death, but all the things he would no longer be able to do.
Johan came to see the psychologist a third time, supported by a friend, and could no longer manage the crutches. He shared that he had watched footage of himself cycling with friends and concluded that he could watch YouTube videos of others cycling around Mont Blanc.
He had even ordered a new, expensive mountain bike. “I’ve wanted to buy it for a long time, but kept saving up,” he said. “I may not be able to ride it, but it would be nice to have it in the living room.”
On his fourth visit, he sat in a wheelchair. It was their last meeting. The bike had arrived, and he placed it next to the sofa. There was one more thing he wanted to do.
“If there were a miracle that allowed me to survive this illness, I would like to volunteer in home care, one or two shifts a week,” Johan said. “They work so hard, and sometimes the job gets crazy, but they contribute extraordinarily. Without them, I wouldn’t be able to leave my apartment.”
Typically, patients with life-threatening illnesses can feel happiness alongside sadness and seemingly conflicting emotions.
In one day, patients might experience gratitude, regret, longing, anger, guilt, and relief, sometimes all at once. Essentially, confronting the limits of existence can provide a person with a new perspective and a deeper appreciation for life.
