Becoming a parent can be an exciting and happy experience in ways you could never anticipate. However, this role also presents unimaginable challenges.
Some parents admit that having children is the best thing they’ve ever done…, yet others wish to dedicate time to themselves. This raises the question for those standing on the brink of marriage: Can children make them happier?
For previous generations, having children was seen as essential and even a duty. Additionally, having children is a part of growing up.
However, in recent years, this traditional viewpoint has lost its dominance, evidenced by the increasing number of people choosing not to have children.
On the other hand, most people still seem to want to have children at some point. Women are often criticized for choosing not to become mothers. Therefore, IVF treatment (in vitro fertilization) is more in demand than ever.
From a scientific perspective, can you be happier when you have children?
Parenting brings unimaginable challenges. (Photo: ITN).
This is clearly a much more complex question than it appears, as personal factors will play a significant role in your decision and how it will affect you. However, these are common concerns when you have or are preparing to have children.
In the early stages, when a baby is born, you will feel a lot of stress, especially if you are a mother.
The process of childbirth and breastfeeding floods a woman’s system with oxytocin – the “love hormone” – a type of hormone that amplifies emotional bonds and makes us feel more pleasure in interpersonal relationships.
It’s hard to imagine a connection stronger than that between a mother and child. Therefore, the emotions you experience when having children will be much more intense than what you might feel without them.
This also applies to fathers. However, the intense experience of bonding and overwhelming joy will eventually fade. It’s not that parents don’t love their children, but newborns and children growing up demand a lot. And parents must take full responsibility for them.
Sleepless nights, dirty diapers, living expenses, clutter,… the reality is that your life is no longer your own, and all these factors can truly increase stress and negative emotions. That’s just how the brain reacts.
But then, you will also get to experience the joy of achievements, the intense love for your children, the happiness that family members share with each other, and the joy of watching your children grow up.
Making an Informed Decision
Essentially, the evidence gathered by scientists suggests that having children can indeed make parents happier.
Sometimes children may make you feel unhappy or frequently stressed or anxious… But overall, having children makes your emotional experiences more intense compared to not having them.
Despite the pros and cons of having children, researchers note that whether children are truly good for you is entirely your choice.
No matter which group you belong to, you can make an informed decision about whether you are ready to have and raise children for a lifetime. One thing is for sure: you are not obligated to have children.
You should not create a child for any urgent reason. Becoming a parent is entirely dependent on the hopes and preferences of the two individuals involved. It’s important to focus on your own desires and wishes rather than external influencing factors.
Additionally, to make this important decision easier, you might consider researching and participating in parenting skills courses.
