William I, also known as “William the Conqueror,” was King of England from 1066 to 1087. However, the story that unfolds after the death of this emperor is even more thrilling, and as people often say, everything has its consequences…
Childhood Struggles and Seizing the English Throne
William I was the only son of Robert I, Duke of Normandy (now part of France). His mother is said to have come from a family involved in the leather trade – the lowest profession at that time. As a child, William I was often referred to as William the Bastard.
King William I.
When William was just 8 years old, his father died, passing the throne to him. However, the “games of power” began almost immediately and were extremely intense and brutal.
William had to learn to protect himself from a young age, gradually developing a suspicious and ruthless demeanor.
During one suppression of a revolt led by a cousin, the young duke had the leader’s hands and feet severed to demonstrate his power.
The year 1066 marked a significant turning point in William’s quest for power. That year, King Edward of England chose another successor (Edward had no sons), despite having promised the throne to his relative William.
Ultimately, William decided to march from France to England, using force to seize the crown. After a bloody battle at Hastings, Duke William was officially crowned King of England on Christmas night.
A Life Stained with Blood…
The king of foreign descent is often referred to as “William the Conqueror”. He significantly altered the constitution and social system, as well as ending the Viking influence in England.
Victorian painting reenacting the Battle of Hastings, where Duke William triumphed and the defeated offered the throne.
In 1069, he began his campaign to conquer Northern England, crushing the rebellious forces. Wherever he went, the king ordered the burning of villages and crops.
Cattle and people were mercilessly slaughtered. Those who remained gradually starved to death or resorted to cannibalism to survive!
In contrast, William lived like… a king! He became increasingly uncontrolled with his weight, becoming grossly overweight – unaware that this would lead to a tragic end later on.
…and a Strange “Stinking” Ending
King William suffered a fatal injury and took refuge in the city of Rouen for six months. By his side were earls, nobles, and clergy.
Here, amid excruciating pain, the tyrant William began to regret his sinful life. But it was all too late!
“I have treated the native inhabitants of the kingdom with unreasonable severity, oppressing both the high and the low, unjustly stripping many of their inheritance, and causing the deaths of thousands due to famine and war, especially in Yorkshire.
In a fit of mad rage, I struck painful blows against the English like a lion in a fury, ordering the burning of their homes, crops, and all their belongings, while killing their sheep and cattle everywhere. Alas! I am the brutal murderer of thousands, both old and young, of this beautiful land.”
Before closing his eyes for the last time, the king ordered all his wealth to be distributed to the poor and churches for the purpose he stated: “Let what I have accumulated compensate for the people.”
However, modern historians doubt that these words were truly from King William I.
The tyrant William fell from his horse during the expedition in France.
On a cold autumn day in September, William passed away. Shortly after, those close to the king also “vanished” quickly. Servants rushed to gather weapons, horses, boats, and belongings before fleeing.
The body of “William the Conqueror” was left naked on the floor like a savage beast.
And that was the real issue: no one was willing to seriously consider burying the king!
Finally, Marquis Enter Herluin – a man of divine kindness and national pride – decided to give King William a resting place.
Herluin used his own money to hire a coffin to transport the king’s body to the Seine River, then traveled by water back to his home in Normandy. The journey was just over 100 kilometers but was fraught with incidents.
First, due to the cart moving at a “snail’s pace,” the bacteria in the king’s intestines spread throughout the rest of his body. The cells decomposed at a terrifying rate, and the king’s corpse swelled due to gas buildup.
Next, the procession reached Normandy but had to… pause due to a large fire that had just broken out! The entire city was in a frenzy to extinguish the flames.
As if that wasn’t enough, when the funeral procession finally reached the burial site, a man suddenly appeared claiming the land was his, which had been seized by King William beforehand.
People demanding land during the king’s funeral.
The funeral was temporarily halted to turn into… a legal negotiation, ending with adequate compensation for the people. He was truly happy to finally wait for the “day of justice.”
However, the king’s body could wait no longer. In his later years, the king had been overweight, and now the corpse was bloating excessively. When lowered into the grave, the body suddenly… became too large for its own tomb.
As everyone was bewildered about what to do, the body’s abdomen exploded! The stench wafted straight into the faces of those standing near the grave and the crowd around. There was no way to contain that smell, and thus the funeral ended far more abruptly than expected.
Even after being buried, King William could not find peace. His grave was dug up three times by Romans, Calvinist theologians, and during the French Revolution.
His bones were then scattered everywhere. To this day, only… a thigh bone remains preserved, marked by a stone slab by the roadside.
King William lived a truly illustrious but also exceedingly brutal life, culminating in a death that was both tragic and absurd!
