“Don’t be shy, go ahead and introduce yourself to her,” does this advice sound familiar to you?
Shyness and embarrassment are uncomfortable feelings that many people advise you to avoid. They are universal experiences across all cultures. So why do humans, the intelligent beings that dominate Earth, continue to hold onto feelings of shame?
There are theories suggesting that shame is an evolutionary byproduct, or even a pathological condition for humankind. However, it turns out that this is not entirely the case. A recent study from the University of California, USA, indicates that the feeling of shame plays a crucial role. It is linked to human survival in the past and maintains many civilizing factors in modern society.
In the Past, Not Knowing Shame Could Lead to Death
Don’t be shy, go ahead and introduce yourself to her.
As you might know, “the body’s pain sensation has a function. It prevents us from causing further damage to tissues,” says evolutionary psychologist Daniel Sznycer from the University of California, USA. Similarly, “the function of shame is to prevent us from harming social relationships, or to encourage us to mend them when issues arise.”
According to researchers, shame carries a significant power and has been present since prehistoric times. It compels humans to behave in ways that gain acceptance from others in their community. At that time, this directly impacted human survival.
“Our ancestors lived in small communities. They cooperated and survived by foraging and hunting. In this era, your life depended on how others in the community valued you. They would decide whether you and your offspring were worthy of food, protection, and care,” says anthropologist John Tooby, a member of the research team.
“The more highly you were valued by others, the more likely your welfare would be cared for. You would receive more help and be harmed less,” Tooby explains. Conversely, when your value decreased in the community, they would help you less and harm you more.
Thus, the feeling of shame prevents you from sending signals that would lead others to undervalue you. You lie or conceal the truth and your weaknesses out of shame. Because this is also about your own survival. Suppose you had no sense of shame; you would perish. Scientists refer to this as “the information threat theory of shame.”
Shame in Modern Society
In prehistoric society, not knowing shame could lead to death.
In modern life, societal evaluations no longer significantly affect an individual’s survival. Nevertheless, the function of the feeling of shame remains unchanged. Researchers describe it as providing you with motivation to make decisions. Shame prevents you from engaging in behaviors that would devalue you in the eyes of others. In modern terms, it is about maintaining one’s dignity.
For example, do you feel ashamed wearing pajamas outside or begging others? Most of us would feel hesitant. In this case, the mechanism of shame restricts many such behaviors that are common in society.
“What’s important here?”, Sznycer asks. “It’s that our ancestors programmed shame into a neural program. It has always made you care about how others evaluate you. The feeling of shame drives you to avoid or conceal behaviors that would lead others to undervalue you.”
To accurately measure how the feeling of shame operates in modern society, researchers conducted experiments with 900 participants from three countries: the USA, India, and Israel.
One group of participants was asked to evaluate others based on their behavior in various fictional scenarios. These behaviors led to loss of value, including: stinginess, betrayal, physical weakness, etc. The other group was asked about their feelings when exhibiting these behaviors. Did they feel ashamed, and if so, how severe was that feeling?
The results of the study were reported in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. They showed that shame is an emotion aligned with the evaluations of others. It retains its inherent meaning. “We observed a very close connection between loss of value in the eyes of others and the intensity of shame,” Cosmides noted.
Shame is particularly adjusted to each local community.
Another important characteristic is that, since the study was conducted on three groups from different countries, the researchers could make very objective comparisons. “We believe that shame is particularly adjusted to local communities,” Cosmides stated.
This means that certain behaviors considered shameful in one community may not be significant in another. The reason is that where you live necessitates the assistance of those around you. You might see Japanese people bowing to each other, but in some countries, no one does that. They feel ashamed.
Nevertheless, some behaviors that cause shame and judgment remain consistent, such as stinginess, lack of ambition, and infidelity. Scientists refer to these as universal “responses.” They are not constrained by culture.
Conclusion
Thus, the new research by American scientists has helped us decode part of the human feeling of shame. You might find it very uncomfortable to be in this state. Shame prevents you from introducing yourself to a girl, singing in front of your friends, and sometimes even lying. But surprisingly, the role of shame is very important.
In the past, shame meant human survival, and today it contributes to maintaining civility in society. Just imagine, what would happen if one day none of us felt shame?
