Statistics from many countries indicate that after a divorce or the early loss of a partner, men tend to remarry more frequently and quickly than women. This behavior is not necessarily due to men being unfaithful.
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Men who have been married often cannot stand loneliness (Photo: Xphix). |
The phenomenon of men quickly entering new marriages has led some to believe that they lack loyalty and easily forget the past connections with their former partners to seek new happiness. But should men really be criticized as unfaithful?
Research by Dr. Jonathan from the Institute of Human Sexuality in London has shown that there are valid reasons for men remarrying early; society should empathize with them and create conditions to help heal their emotional wounds.
In reality, widowed men or those who have divorced and extend their period of single life are at a high risk of mental decline, falling into despair, living carelessly, and experiencing a shortened lifespan. This suggests that psychologically, men are weaker than women, and marriage is more essential for men, although it has traditionally been thought that women need men more.
The first reason: Men often struggle to organize their private lives, especially after having a wife who managed those tasks for them for a long time. They find it very difficult to adjust to being without a wife. It is rare for single men to meticulously clean their rice or fix a torn pair of pants due to cigarette burns. Not to mention more elaborate tasks like cleaning each bed frame or regularly tidying up the house. Therefore, upon entering the home of a single man, one can quickly notice the difference.
The second reason: After a divorce, most men live in loneliness in the most specific sense of the term. Women often live with their children post-divorce, as courts typically prioritize custody rights for mothers. The situation of a man living alone is very detrimental to their mental health. Because they are not accustomed to household chores, single men have more idle time than women, which contributes to their feelings of sadness.
Some turn to alcohol to alleviate their sorrow, spending hours “confiding” to a bottle. Lonely men also smoke more than those who are married because they can freely smoke at any time. When alcohol combines with smoking, the health risks multiply significantly compared to each vice alone.
Moreover, humans are not just biological entities but also social units. Thus, when returning to their silent rooms and losing opportunities for interaction with others, the psychological weight of loneliness increases. One man recounted that during a TV program called “Weekend Meeting,” he had to turn it off out of fear of laughing alone, which would make him seem crazy.
Single men also do not like to bond with each other like women do; they feel self-conscious about their loneliness and avoid socializing with married men. The absence of someone to comfort or encourage them diminishes their self-confidence, affecting their necessary reflexes in the nervous system. This explains why single men are more prone to traffic accidents or workplace injuries than married men.
Perhaps for these reasons, men become more proactive in seeking new partners. Without the responsibility of raising children, they have the freedom to attend dating clubs or frequent lively places like dance halls, where they can meet many potential partners.
The pool of potential partners for men is also much broader than for women. They can marry women of any age as long as they are of legal age and willing to marry them. In contrast, women are often hesitant to pursue younger men due to societal perceptions that label them as “chasing” after younger partners. Additionally, women face the challenge of finding a man who can harmonize with their children from previous relationships.
However, it is worth noting that the number of men who divorce a second time is also higher than that of women. This does not include those who fall into a cycle of chronic divorce, meaning they marry multiple times but none of the marriages last long. Typically, the feeling of being without a wife and the longing for a partner dissipates shortly after remarrying, leading them to encounter the same difficulties as in their previous marriage, ultimately resulting in another failure.
This is more likely to happen to men who are conservative and fail to recognize their unpleasant traits. They often rely on the opinions of friends or relatives—who do not truly understand them—leading them to believe they are always right. Consequently, in their next marriage, they do not address the flaws that caused previous failures.
Today, most of society has become more understanding and less critical of men who remarry quickly. However, the key issue is not whether men should remarry early or late but rather learning from past failures to find happiness in future marriages.
