A tourist asked the owner of an inn in the village:
– Excuse me, how’s the atmosphere here? Is it good?
– You don’t need to worry about that. We’ve had to poison the oldest man in the village just to have the chance to open the cemetery.
At a company specializing in providing bodyguards, they were attending to an important client.
– Sir, we have recently developed additional services. Would you like protection during business hours or a full package?
– What does the full package include?
– Well, it includes… embalming and burial, sir!