Three different announcements from the World Health Organization (WHO) sent everyone into a frenzy. WHO recently released a shocking statement: wine can prevent and combat SARS!
Five minutes after the announcement, all the men had vanished from their homes. From workers to executives, from athletes to actresses, everyone flocked to the bars.
They drank wine as if it were water, savoring it with whatever snacks they could find: roasted peanuts, green guava, ripe star fruit, dried lizard, or pickled plums…
In restaurants, slogans were hung up: “Drink for your future and the safety of your family!”
At airports, tickets were waived for anyone carrying a bottle of wine.
In beauty pageants, anyone who smelled strongly of wine was immediately elected to the judging panel.
But then, out of nowhere, doctors issued a new announcement: “Only white wine has any effect. Red wine is ineffective.”
Yet, for ages, most people have been drinking red wine.
Immediately, white wine became the next big trend.
A group of unscrupulous traders even began to counterfeit white wine by diluting red wine with water.
Then, out of the blue, the World Health Organization issued a correction. They stated: “Yes, wine can cure SARS, but it should not be drunk; it must be applied topically!”
Oh dear, chaos ensued. People began to slather wine on themselves as if it were high-end perfume.
Everyone was drenched in the scent of grapes.
People even mixed wine into their bathwater, soaking their clothes in wine barrels as if they were using soap.
Suddenly, with one final announcement, scientists declared: “To cure SARS, it is neither to drink nor to apply; you must carry a barrel of wine on your back and run around until you sweat!”